| uuuggghhh! |
[20 May 2006|05:24pm] |
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mood |
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 I wanna kill something |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Mudvayne- Happy? |
] |
Well seeing how im writing this means that definately something is going on. such as I am having a fucking horrible day. Im sitting on my ass and no one has called at all. Really don't feel like hanging out with the same person 2 days in a row right now and personally some people in my life can go jump off a bridge or continue with their problems cause they are fucking users who play off of emotions. Which is wrong. They come for comfort and nothing else. One example is this bitch had just broken up with her boyfriend and my friend was there to comfort her and he developed feelings for her. Natural of course for most people. And she knew and CONTINUED to play off of his love for her and then turned her back to him and went to someone else.
Listen the term "I just want to be friends." or "Your one of my best friends and I don't want to lose you" or even "I like you, but not like that" Is all bs. My friend put it pretty nicely for me the other day.
He said " When you a girl tells you "Your an amazing person but I just want to keep you as a friend" she mean's "Your perfect in EVERY aspect of what I want and you give me everything I want, but i can't go out with you because im gonna go back out and go out with someone less then you maybe even an alcoholic " Thats like handing in a resume' and them telling you "You are the perfect man for the job but were not going to hire you. Were gonna hire someone less qualified and less experienced with this business. When this person leaves the job we still won't hire you but will call to complain about all the people we have hired that are worse then you."
So I believe in that above theory.
Oh great now my fucking washer machine is broken. I just fucking broke it. This day can't get any better. W/e im going out...or killing myself whichever happens first cause this shit is just happening over and over and over again for me. The same shit. It's annoying. Sometimes I think I should drop all my friends for like a month then go back to them a changed person. W/e I'll think about it. Later
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| Amazing day |
[01 May 2006|12:44am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 this is what Alix looks like |
] |
| [ |
music |
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the sounds of nothing...ohhh creepy... |
] |
Well....first off I can thank Alix for driving me back here to this damned forsaken place of the LJ! ><;
2ndly I would like to say that this WEEK has kinda sucked.
3rdly I love women. ok now on to the post.
This day started off good and ended amazingly! I woke up to find that my friends cat had fallen asleep on me and that she wasn't planning on moving....annnd.....neither was I.Kekeke. So I went back to bed and woke at 11. I got up and IMMEDIATELY went on WoW. XD im such a geek like that. I stayed with Castro last night and well....last night was horrible but today was amazing! -points to the suject header- see? Ok so Castro had to go so I sat down on him bed and watched Alien Vs Predator while playing WoW. Geeks fucking fantasy. -squeals- So I got a little hungry and I made myself a bowl of Cereal which later on I was scolded for by his mother. ><; So later Castro called and asked what we should do for lunch and I said I would throw burgers into that set it and forget it Rotissarries. So I put them in and TOTALLY FORGOT THAT THERE WERE COOKIES IN A PLASTIC BAG AND CHOCOLATE EGGS ONTO OF THE ROTISSARRIE!! So they fucking melted to the thing. ><; fucking grrr. I cleaned it and He came home to me cleaning up the fucking mess cause it was everywhere ><; On the wall, the rotissarrie and the counter! So we cleaned it up and his mom came home and scolded me like I was her own and we laughed at it cause it was fucking hilarous.
Ok so later on that day we went and picked up Mallory and went to Tri County to play DDR. Was awesome. The we went to monster music but it was close but I saw Andrea Sheridan and Sam Foy and it was almost like I was fucking popular cause at once in girlish voices they said " Hi kie " and laughed. I was like O_O; wow.
Then we went to my house for like half and hour....did nothing really. Then I went back to Castro's and we played WoW while watching advent children!! Oh! Also we showed Tommy this very scary porno ><; we were cracking up. She loved it! XD
Then I came home...><; Yea.
Well I guess it's only right that I do this next part.
I've know this girl for 5 years of my life. Met her around this time of year acually. Back when she was in high school and was still an innocent lil' gal. XD You know it's weird how it works but you get attached to people sometimes. And this girl I've gotten very attached to over the years. Through thick and thin. The was there to scold me and to hold me at the same time even! Alix Seifert has been one of the most beautiful, most intellectual influences on my life. Even when I didn't want to hear it she told me what was needed to hear. Through MY OWN bickering and Bullshit she still came back to me to see if I was doing ok. Even in a time of conflict we still cared for one another and I dearly care for her. She is, if not, one of the most precious things I hold close to my heart. I can say that I love this women. Doesn't matter if I can't see her physically. Doesn't matter if I can't touch her either. She is a dear friend to me and maybe even more someday. I tell you that I will always be there for this girl and will always be there to serve as her stress relief or even just to be there. <3 I thank the heavens that I was allowed to meet and keep such a person like you al. You've always been the best.
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| BLUE ORCHID! |
[06 Jul 2005|01:28pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 What to do what to do... |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Marilyn Manson Ft. Slipknot- Fight song |
] |
-Yawns- well work was fairly easy today...All we did was take down a freakin 20X40 tent! ><;
For all who don't know, thats as gib as your back yard so now, go look at your back yard and picture a HUGE tent covering your whole backyard. Yea I thought so.
This is one funky song...It's called Blue Orchid by White Stripes. Pretty cool also.
Now back to the subject, Work is very amusing to me right now because im getting little hints and nudges that im becoming like "Mini-Boss" Up with my boss because HE tells everyone to listen to me and do what I tell them to do. Which half the time, I tell them to do small things because, me being the buff shiznit I am -Stands proudly showing his buffness- I do most of the heavy work such as rolling heavy bouncers and folding things such as bouncers and stuff.....Ohh check out my Myspace!!
Http://www.myspace.com/tdblitz
now... onto other stuff.....
-thinks- Well, I finally got Metal Mistress Juliya to become my friend on Myspace...I wanna talk with her because hel, she's a freakin awesome person. MY friend Rick knows her along with the other DJ on Fuse. Steve and people...Yea.. I want pizza....A good pizza...Like PAPA JOHNS!!! YES!! ok im out..
Love is like a deer..you hit it by accident going 60 MPH....
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| Nothing Useful |
[27 Jun 2005|11:15pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 Is this....life? |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Smashing Pumpkins- Bullet with butterfly wings |
] |
My mind right now is in a state of denial soo badly that I need my music. Just now I was staring blankly at Pictures of Alec and I had visions of me destroying him...I don't want him near or anything to do with Mallory because apparently he wasnts her and I won't let him have her. I hear he ask's if we broke up yet or anything like that sorta.
WARNING! This Part MAY or MAY NOT be VERY RANDOM
I wanna learn how to play tank and other cool songs...like fooly cooly songs!
I wonder what's in the fridge....
I wanna learn japanese.
Thank you for your Patience.
Now my brain is being stupid...I keep randomly calling Mallory's cell on and off and I don't know why!!
Sometimes I wonder if being sane is insanity and being insane is sanity. I sometimes wonder why I don't have super powers or why I can't perform amazing tricks with swords. Sure I can twirl then and flip them without cutting myself but I want to be able to spin it quickly and things of that sort....
In a way sometimes I become jelous that people can do some REALLY cool things that I can't do and probably will never be ABLE to do.
Is it bad to have nothing liked about you?.... I can never release myself into the world...I use to but now im confined to not telling my stupid jokes or ever jumping around stupidly. I wanna just one more time do that stupid cookie joke so everyone laughs hard at me....I wanna be stupid around people but it seems like those chance's will never come again. I wanna be hyper...but im usually tranquil.
**Random Poems by me**
Soul
A feeling in you that tingle when constricted
A feeling you get when your brains conflicted
your movement and use of everyday material
the thing inside you feed with cereal
Crimson red it splurts when hit
the remorse feeling coming so quick
that feeling a truth is afloat
nothing is true in life.
The soul is a Trajedy
The destruction of man
Making use give under pressure
Without a command.
There completed.
My heart is a little heavy but I walk with my head high. You can't destroy the thing that was made to save mankind.....
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| ~Falls over~ X.X |
[23 Jun 2005|10:47pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 Ohh medication.... |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Trigun- Vash's theme |
] |
Yea So I've been sick with Pnemonia for a week now and I just found out about it...this morning. ><;
To make things worse I have a 7 on 7 tornament for football saturday and Im suppose to work tomorrow. So this will be a very amusing couple of days. They put me on a weird liquid that leaves a metallic taste in your mouth but...smells like a Cherry Flav-cicle. And a pill that smells like bubble gum..... I have one thing to say to that...
WTF??!?!
Anyway I feel like crap and i've been coughing and I threw up once today. But everything else is amazing. In 1 day I have felt better then I did all week. I can acually move around and I haven't had 1 fever today!
In case you don't know, this is an amazing feat. You know im sick when I can't get on the computer or even have the want to play video games...which I didn't have. Well....I think its time for me to rest. I want to get rid of this! ><;
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| hi everyone! |
[18 Jun 2005|01:52am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 wow this is life.... |
] |
| [ |
music |
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the computer ON |
] |
Well decided to drop a note onto the ol' Live journal for the fun of it. -sighs- the school year is coming to a close and im gonna miss it till next year. Althought, don't get me wrong, im happy to be away from TONS of people, there will be the exceptional few that I miss.
Ill name em!
Taylor, Craig, Nick, Martufi, Peters, Pat, Chris, Velez, KANDI!!! and some other freaks I forgot about already. ~.^
Anyways, im soo bored! Nobody cares that im still living now and eh i just want to be noticed every now and then...invited to a party or two or even a hang out. -shrugs- but life isn't always a bag of potatoes...
Anyways I guess i'll just spend the summer like I did last summer! With my baby mallory.
im lonely! ;-;
ok anyways, talk to me people! please? **Makes puppy dog eyes** you can't resist this face can you? ^^;
Latters!
Kie AKA Death
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| Happy!er! |
[28 May 2005|12:39am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 I see blue skys gonna clear up |
] |
| [ |
music |
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The sound of keys tapping! >.<; |
] |
Well today was AMAZING! I never knew sheets enhanced SOOOO many experiences! XD Anyways, I gotta crack down on doing my finaly project for the year in photography. Yes It's much harder then it sounds. It's not all " Click take a picture!" It's alot harder...
Anyway...Going on with life, I think many things in my life are changing and hopefully for the better. I could ask for a few more changes and i think I will but now right now. I'll leave things as they are because im good right now. Im not gonna go insane right now so....
anywayz it's 2 in the morning and im on the phone so....just lazy and tired right now. Lsattaz!
~Death AKA Kie
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| School! |
[25 May 2005|09:45am] |
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mood |
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 Im happy! |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Black mages CD |
] |
Well im sitting here in italian right now...got tons of things on my mind right now because of alot of home events such as my father last night being the jackass he is making me come home early from playing baseball with everyone. I would have loved to stay later but of COURSE i had to "Come home because I need to get ready for my sisters concert which was taking place at 7 that night and was gonna end at 8 so...I thought it was pointless to come home so early...
Also, Mallo, I love you tons and always will babe. you are amazing and you are my life. Fuck jen and her fucking ways. She could go screw a camel for all i give a shit about.
Also, tons of my friends who do not speak with me anymore...I sorta miss you guys. Like the people who I can't speak on AIM with anymore...well I'll type more later..gotta get off the comp because this girl is bitchin at me...latterz!
~Death AKA Kie
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| Feeling better.... |
[21 May 2005|08:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 Im at ease. |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Water running |
] |
Well ok live isn't so bad...I don't feel as horrible anymore but...I still need some advice on the subject of my father...it's scary to have this happening....
Well I gotta go guys..You guys have been good friends...
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| I hate LIFE! |
[20 May 2005|09:25pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 crazy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Bevis and the sound of sharp blades..><; |
] |
People I HATE!
Aylssa Dorka
Jeremy
Mike
[b]JENNIFER[/b]
DJ
Nick
Craig
Dustin
People I love
My dad
my step dad
my mom
my sisters
MALLORY!!!!!! GOD FUCK DAMN BITCH FUCK! [size=24][b]I LOVE HER!!![/b][/size=24]
Anthony
Tyler
Mike
YOu think you have it bad fuckers!!!
Look at my life! My father just took a step back into my life! I don't know what to do!
I live life through sorry's and the fact that I have to ignore BILLIONS of people!
The girl I love HATES me right now and might leave me!
I feel PERSONALLY that DEATH IS THE ONLY WAY OUT OF MY PROBLEMS!
I go to a FUCKING PSYCHOLOGIST!!!
I LOVE GETTING HURT!
I poke myself with pins for fun!
I play rock paper scissors SLAP!
You want to know more hm? I have ADD and I might have cancer. I might be dead by 54 because I have problems.
MY granddad is dead and my girlfriend hates me my dad stepped back into my life and i have nothing left....So what is left after you have nothing? Death..yes I might consider it..I have the sword to do it..I have the guns..I have the knives and swords...I could jump off a roof. I might just do it bloody...I DONT KNOW!! I WANT YOU BACK! COME BACK TO ME!! I LOVE YOU MORE THEN ANY MAN EVER COULD LOVE YOU!!!! PLEASE!! Your the only one for me mallory...I cried outside for 15 minutes and then had to go in because anthony's mom called him....Tomorrow im gonna walk to your house and then at night im gonna go to cold stone and wait for you outside....then at night I might camp outside your house with my guitar and sing some songs....Im serious about loving you....Im SUPER serious about fighting to keep you...
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| True Quiz |
[10 Jan 2005|07:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 still Bitchy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Same as before.. |
] |
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| what a day.... |
[10 Jan 2005|06:37pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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B is for BITCHY! |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Stairway to heaven |
] |
Here ares some lyrics that that allow a few people to enter my heart...
Stairway to Heaven
There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold
And she's buying a stairway to heaven.
When she gets there she knows, if the stores are all closed
With a word she can get what she came for.
Ooh, ooh, and she's buying a stairway to heaven.
There's a sign on the wall but she wants to be sure
'Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.
In a tree by the brook, there's a songbird who sings,
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven.
Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it makes me wonder.
There's a feeling I get when I look to the west,
And my spirit is crying for leaving.
In my thoughts I have seen rings of smoke through the trees,
And the voices of those who stand looking.
Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it really makes me wonder.
And it's whispered that soon if we all call the tune
Then the piper will lead us to reason.
And a new day will dawn for those who stand long
And the forests will echo with laughter.
If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now,
It's just a spring clean for the May queen.
Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run
There's still time to change the road you're on.
And it makes me wonder.
Your head is humming and it won't go, in case you don't know,
The piper's calling you to join him,
Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow, and did you know
Your stairway lies on the whispering wind.
And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our soul.
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How everything still turns to gold.
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last.
When all are one and one is all
To be a rock and not to roll.
And she's buying a stairway to heaven.
Led Zeppelin
Today was ok..i mean i sorta didn't get what i wanted but thats life ya know? Ya don't always get what ya want.. Just like this
see? It's the truth.
What else..ahh yes life. Life is a bitch. I mean i've tried to smack it around the way i want it to go but it never seems to get me. At all. I never yell...well barely... I don't hit people. Im uber nice...im caring..kind...and still people turn away from me and don't see who I am...nobody wants to know me anymore....i hate that soo much...i want people to ask my name or ask for my help or tell me their problems...hell even acknowledge a phone call or a message..acknowledge that im there.,....3 peopel do that in their life..mallo, Anthony, and Mike Callan...scary cuz i thought i hated him but i don't... W/e if people wanted to know me i'd be happy but fuck it..life will never be what i want..i mean it will be but not everything i want...hell maybe i am slightly spoiled...i don't think soo though... I don't think im sadistic...am I? All i ask for is a lil attention...a lil gratitude...what i want every now and then..nobody ask's what i want to do..or what i have to say..or, I hate to be a lil kid, if i want to play or go with them....but w/e life changes and soon this post will be thrown into the gutter like the other 6 behind it....guess thats just who i am....but w/e.... Later... -Stabs a knife into the computer with his suicide note- if only...but it won't happen cuz i have to much to live for...
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| YES! |
[09 Jan 2005|08:49pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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crazy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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bbbbzzzz |
] |
Second and last day of work at the Javit center is now done and over with,ok back ( sorry was lifting stuff into the workplace/freezer. But i gotta go so ill type more later...by people!
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| ooowwww..... |
[08 Jan 2005|10:54pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 <---- thats me....><; |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Led Zeppilen - Stairway to heaven |
] |
Im sitting here with the biggest vibrator i've ever seen on my biceps to cool/relax them.....it sux...cuz im in lots of UBER UBER big pain.... I almost cried and threw up because of the pain today but i realized something scary...
I know how to make any type of pain go away... I kept saying to myself that all that pain is, is a feeling in the muscle but that its nothing and i shouldn't scream because its nothing...and i stretched my muscles out ....alot..i had to to make the pain fade for a few minutes....i had to lift things all day which also killed my arms immensely... I had to sit down for part of the day....BUT i did have a sale!!
I sold this guy a jacket that cost 69.95!!!!oneone1!!
Im proud.....sorta....but tomorrow is a short day...11 - 6 which is good cuz then i might be able to see mallo a little later in the day...i gotta go upstairs now and sorta lay on this vibrator...im dying and it hurts alot..i need some TLC....
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| From Kie to mallo!! |
[08 Jan 2005|07:31pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 this arm makes me sick... |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Cell PHONE RINGS AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! |
] |
Bold those that apply:
on the cheek.
on the lips.
on their hands
on their fingers
in my room.
in their room.
of the same sex.
of the opposite sex.
younger than me.
older than me.
with jet black hair.
with curly hair.
with blonde hair & blue eyes.
with flaming red hair.
with straight hair.
taller than me.
with a lip ring.
who was drunk.
who I had just met.
who was homosexual.
who I didn't really want to kiss.(~Remembers sara's B-day~)
on a holiday.
who was going out with someone else.
who was going out with someone close to me.
who was my good friend's brother or sister.
who had been/is in jail.
in a graveyard.
at a show/concert.
at the beach.
in a pool, jacuzzi, or some type of water
who was legally too young/old for me to have sex with.
with dyed hair.
with a shaved head.
who was/is my good friend.
who was/is in a band
who has tattoos.
who is of a completely different race than me.
in the rain.
in another continent besides where I was born.
with an accent.
with an std.(i hope not...)
on a boat.
in a car/taxi/bus.
on a plane.
at the circus/carnival.
with a missing body part.
in the movies.
eskimo style?
with a tongue ring.(AWW WHY NOT?!?!)</b>
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| Work!....but im in the city~! |
[08 Jan 2005|07:12pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 oww my arms! |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
roar's of the late day crowd |
] |
Im sitting here at my booth in the Javit Center typing this as quickly as i can because im being watch!! >>;;
This isn't that easy as I thought it would be either! I have to help, watch, and make tea!! (between me and my dad) Sometimes i wish like..my friends could drive in and see me here cuz i look damn good! Lots of people were amazed i worked here! OHH This cute lil girl gave me and my grandpa a picture because we gave here donuts! ><;;; KAAAWWAAIIII!!! Sorry i went all japanese because ive been around japanese people all day...sorta..lots of different languages.... but i have to go! gotta work cuz this IS the city ya know!! So ill edit/redo this later..bye!! -kisses to mallo-
PS.. I forgot..my arms are KILLING ME!!! Literally cuz i can barely move them....
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| Who is the ruler of the universe... |
[06 Jan 2005|08:52pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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poke de muscle..poke de muscle |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Final Fantasy - Mambo de Chocobo |
] |
Weight room! UGGGH! This sux cuz i can't feel my arms and i have callus's to death. Benching, crunches, lifts, legs, running, you name it(Sept sex) I did it. This is strange cuz..its been a while since i last worked out...
Weird but like i feel...stronger and like...bigger...and i love it..its amazing... I could bench anyone! Yes!! But like my hands are dry as hell..i might start going 3 times a week..Cuz i love it! Im getting into shape finally! Hope Mallo thinks I look good when i look slimmer... Cuz thats what im going for...i hope in six weeks im slimmer and i have a nicely trimmed body.
My friend tyler took me today and he's my " Workout buddy." We go and we work out for 2 hours and do a "Burndown" system which is when you slowly decrease the wieghts on the machine as your arms get weaker and weak to trim the muscle. And make it bigger..^^; I need to get stronger for football and baseball which starts in the spring...I saw Coach Robins in the gym along with Kyle so-and-so and Joe Alberti. People were amused to see me at a gym cuz they think I like getting fat.....><; I hate that word...FAT....
wow...thats...odd.... Now its time to call mallo and to eat something! Im starved!!
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| IN need of bigger better backrounds! |
[05 Jan 2005|08:38pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
15 men in my bed... |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Heavy Metal Background |
] |
God! Backgrounds are hard to find now! Like.... I've been looking around for a while for a new one. I LOVE the one i have now....Its from Magna Carta...very good anime style.
Anyways... Today was great... I mean i was envied by people and i got to be with my girly during "Play Rehersal" till 4. Shes amazing on stage and....ill leave that out kk?
Now to go on, Nikki ...i pat you on the head cuz yer a special one along with carrie who i can't scare for the shit of me. -Listens in the background-
OHH!! Viva La bam! -Turns around for 4 minutes-ok its the Crash Car Derby episode! Best one...
ok well ill post later k?
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| Take a Quiz! |
[04 Jan 2005|10:21pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 omgomgomgomgomg... |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Kesenai Tsumi |
] |
Word....><;
Hey what can i say?
XD I couldn't stop laughing!!
How do you feel now?
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| Hearts Falls into a Abyss of Darkness...... |
[04 Jan 2005|06:22pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 I have the world against me... |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Gundam Wing - White Reflection |
] |
Nobody can't tell me to my face that im normal..cuz im not cuz i have this...this sense...it's not even a laughing matter i can sense peoples feelings..fears and why they do stuff.... i mean we're not all perfect but shouldn't we love what and who we are?
Right now i feel i don't belong here..as if my heart is of something else instead of flesh and muscle....like its made of silk and styro-foam. It's so easy to break and very easy to fall in love with but only those who have seen it and touched it or been touched by it see how truely pure and beautiful it is because i KEEP it that way. Nobodies opiniond can change it and ya know what? I'm proud of what i've become unlike some people i know...
-Looks at the person next to him- my soulmate...the one i love... the one who has seen and felt the essence of my love... has had her heart destroyed and rebuilt by her parents who are evil people.... Like crazy scientists who think she's a project that they can mold and create to their likings. WELL SHE'S NOT! SHE is human!! SHE has a name! SHE is someone who i would protect and love even if she doesn't want it because , as i said before, I HAVE ANOTHER SENSE!
Most of you think im crazy by now....but this is my journal...you never HAD to read it...even if i wanted you to. -Feels like going anime style-
-spins around, allowing his hair to rustle to the front, point his finger at the people- To you i am a nut, a looney, a person with no heart or sense...but -holds his hand to his heart- i am human is some ways....cut me i Bleed. Pinch me i flinch. Bring death upon me and i cry...But death does not phase me in this world of yours. -points again- you are all mere puppets! Look in yourself and unleash the individualality...It is no fair to allow another human being to control you unless you have sold your soul to them...-closes his eyes- like me... I have sent my soul willingly to someone i love..and now i believe se is in trouble...-opens his teary eyes - You monsters! How could you....
There im a little better but now i've gotta liv the next few weeks with the deadliest thought...What if?...Signing off...- Clicks the off button -
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tidusblitz's journal